I’m always feeling depressed, suicidal

I’m always feeling depressed, suicidal

Please keep me anonymous,So happy with this channel because it has helped heal so many broken hearts.God bless you.
I have been feeling depressed of late.thinking about life in general,d struggle basically in most areas of life.i am a very happy person in fact i hate been lonely because i love to have friends and family members around me,but been depressed has made me quiet and kinda frustrated and not participating in my usual stuff…my siblings don’t even care,my mum who i so much have faith in,instead of helping me out feels am always angry and loves been in a bad mood,saying all sorts of stuff like it will be difficult for me in my marriage because i will always be keeping face for my hubby.but am grown and its normal to feel this way once in awhile and need help to no that everything will be fine. she rather switched to my younger ones as her favorites.she feels am ungrateful, she doesn’t talk to me and act like she hates me for something that can happen to anyone. No on even cares.
please how do i pull through, how do i make myself happy..how do i help myself never to feel bad about any situation.