From a female blog reader:
Please, I’d like to remain anonymous.
I was dating this guy whom I cared for deeply, unfortunately along the way I learned he had no back up plan and his financial situation is not what it should be at his age. I’m close to 30 and he is in his 40s. Nevertheless, I went on with this relationship and did my best to support him and his career choices but one day I woke up and realized everything I promised I’d never do again, I had started doing for this man. (in the past I have dealt with men who wanted to collect from me). To say the least, I became irritated with myself because he collects money from me and I had asked him not to because I don’t want to lose respect for him. He didn’t stop. We had wanted to settle down one day but he asked me to wait indefinitely. I asked him to branch out and seek another source of income because he can’t be dependent on one where it’s not like the money is constant flowing, it’s trickling in and this made me grow impatient. He wants us to reconcile and he keeps telling me his finances are none of my business, that I should be with him whether or not he has money in the bank but I’m scared he’ll get comfortable and things like: payment of school fees, rent etc will become my responsibility. Women have ended relationships with him for this same reason. I am working and I’m gradually growing in my organisation, I take care of myself, he can’t afford to give me anything or buy me anything even on special occasions. I have tried but how can I be with someone who refuses to see reason with working towards building a comfort life?