“How do I move along with all this drama?”

"How do I move along with all this drama?"

From a female blog reader:

My story is a long one but plsssss post it and i really appreciate your good works. I have taken months to decide if i will post this story trying to see if i can forgive and forget but it gets worse when i remember. I met my ex in my 100l, but then i wasn’t ready for a relationship, after much pressure i told myself i could love him by knowing him, i did and built my world around him we were enviable. Just a year after i found out he was cheating. He became notorious for it, even to my friends, i was warned severally to leave him, i kept hoping he will change. It was so bad that it changed my character i became very aggressive towards him, i dint trust him anymore, i could just flip from 0 to 100 on him because of his lies, i even poured drink on him because of anger one day and ran away. he met this lady, she knew we were dating . He denied both of them but his friend always took me to where they always meet, how he escorts her, kisses her and almost immediately he calls me to make food for him to bring. I just stand there and cry while his friend consoles me, mind you we were still dating, i broke up with him but he refused and call me names that i want to follow my friends who are runz girls, he kneels down and beg and i will forgive him. I discovered i was pregnant, I dint want to tell him and move on but my friend said if i dint he would blame me in the future why i dint tell him, maybe it would change him. I told him and he said i should do as i please, i said i was keeping it and am moving on because he was not ready to quit his cheating ways, infact he was in love with that lady i accepted my defeat but he cried and refused we could work things out, i held on to that hope but it was a lie. He told me he cant inform his parents for certain reasons. I was of the hope we would pull tru together we graduated and i couldn’t go home i stayed with my sister while he was planning his life to leave the country and very much dating that lady, his friends will send pix of both of them in hotels while i was alone going for antenatal with no money to even buy drugs, i managed with my sis until she had nothing on her,

I managed with my sis until she had nothing on her, she decided to travel to go see him and talk to him about the situation but he avoided her and dint pick her calls only for her to see him at the bar with the lady flexing. When she came she said just forget him, we can do this on our own but we have to go home to mum and tell her the truth. I remember how my mum fell from the bed when i told her, all she could say is the dream , Oh my God the dream, then she started crying. When i was graduating, at my thanksgiving my mum told me she had a dream that someone called her to the hospital on arriving she was handed a baby boy and she asked who has this and they pointed to where i was and she woke up. While she innocently told me maybe it means cus i graduated excellently and God is rewarding me, while deep down i knew i just discovered i was pregnant 2days ago.
My mum was a pastor in a church, they asked her to send me away or leave the church to the extent one of the pastors came to my house and fought me physically my sister had to hit him with a vase, my mum left the church, we were a laughing stock, it was one problem to another, my brothers beat me up, my younger ones disrespected me. As if it was not bad enough he would call when he pleased and even told me, I and my mum are disturbing him, because she was trying to help him from the hands of my uncles who wanted to go arrest him, she asked him to come and claim the pregnancy and she understands if he cant tell his parents now but his presence was important, he still did not come, instead he kept telling me about his trip, he needs to leave this country and still dating that girl. Along the line my elder brother died and i wasn’t informed cus he was in a different state i was told 2 months after i gave birth he was dead and buried i had no clue what was going on cus i became a shadow of myself. he found out i gave birth through his friend he called me and asked me why i dint tell him, now my mum told him once they name the child when they haven’t seen the father to claim it the child eventually bares our family name as customs demand. He had to inform his people, and they are very nice people, the dad refunded half of all i spent and sends in money monthly and asked if we wanted to continue the relationship we said yes, stupid of me. He eventually travelled out and he resumed his cheating spree. I called him up one day and ended things. But i have maintained relationship with the family. I am doing very well for myself, am working, and have other little businesses, live in a 3 bedroom and own 2 cars, i take care of my younger ones, and all my ex could say is am sleeping around cus i have refused to let him come spend a week in my house, why? I have not forgotten what has happened i feel anger when i remember so i don’t want him close to me anymore but we can build a healthy relationship for our son; Moreover he is dating this lady he met in the UK. I wont lie i still love him but i will choose happiness over love. I understand he had every right to be afraid and not ready for a child i was aswell but not to desert me and be in the arms of another woman, this is why i cant forget dear ex, I can forgive other things but I don’t forgive betrayal especially when I needed you the most. How can i forget this trauma?