Men always love me but I don’t love them back, lady laments

Men always love me but I don't love them back, lady laments

From a female blog reader:

Pls hide my identity, am 26 and confused, I have a guy I dated on and of since 2008, my problem is I can’t seem to make up my mind abt him, he is the one person in this world who truly understands me, I have handed him a whole lot of Bullshit, I can’t even stand by him in difficult times, we are both unemployed, wen I face pressure from home to settle down I treat him unfairly, but he doesn’t even back down he keeps insisting on marrying me, I pressure him to get something doing all the time, sometimes I feel am too selfish cos I want to be with someone who can actually pamper me sometimes is Dat too much to ask? I find myself jumping from one rshp to the other (in secret tho) now I have found myself in a rshp with another guy who wants to settle down. Truth be told am not so thrilled abt him too. How is it Dat I find myself in such situations all the time I can’t understand. I feel like I don’t even have love for anybody but myself.. How do I show love, the true meaning of love, like how do I commit to someone and not be scared anytime pressure comes. Pls I need practical advice. Just this morning I thought committing suicide would end this madness.