“I hate his attitude but can’t stay away from him”

"I hate his attitude but can't stay away from him"
From Break Or Makeup (BOM) page:

I am a 26yr old East African girl living abroad. Ive been dating a nigerian igbo guy for the past 5years. Well let us say it has been on hell of a ride. When we first met we were young. I just wanted to party and enjoy my life while the guy wanted something serious. Upon seeing I was just enjoying myself always going out with my friends, my guy started doing the same.

Except for his own involved women too. He started cheating on me. At first we broke up then we got back together again. It became a habit to him. He would sleep with all these women in retaliation to me going out. We kept in breaking up and making up. Until I decided to do my own back to him. Bom, its been 3yrs since I supposedly cheated but this guy reminds me of it every day until tomorrow. He calls me all these names insults the living daylights out of me. But he doesn’t want to leave me. He provides for me. Everyone around is jealous of the way he takes care of me. But the emotional abuse is now too much.

Now on seeing that he had become a chronic cheater, I decided to keep some parts of my life from him. I don’t want to be the loser in the end to have totally opened up to him then it all goes sour. This year I now decided that I will become a better person and settle and stop all this nonsense. I actually achieved my goal. But the problem was he now found out things about me that I had been keeping from him. Its not bad things oh. Just parts of my life that I didn’t explain well to him. Omg Bom, it has now become world war. Ontop of the normal insults now he calls me a liar too.

We broke up for like 2months again and got back together. I forgave him for all he did bse he really did emotionally and mentally abuse me. But he keeps holding on to my mistakes. Ive tried everything. Ive begged. Ive cried. Ive asked his friends for help. Nothing. And he doesn’t want to leave me oh. Right now he says we’re just people who enjoy eachother’s company and nothing more.

I know he still has other women but I cant even open my mouth to say anything bse wat will follow is insults of me sleeping around and lying. When i try to talk to him i just get showers of abuses and name calling. Then later he checks on me like nothing happened. He’s so jealous of anyone that even talks to me yet he doesn’t want to step up and be a man. I love him so much Bom I can’t explain. Every time I even try to look at another man, no one comes close to him. But the emotional and mental abuse is too much. My friends have told me to leave him saying hes going to kill me one day but i cant. People just don’t understand the heart wants what it wants. Prayer yes I pray but now what do i pray for? God to change him? He doesn’t believe in God btw, Im dealing with a practical cynical genius here.

Pls help me Bom family. What do I do to earn this man’s trust back and get things between us to go smoothly again. I really want it to work with him. I need good practical advice. Thanks. Stay blessed.